Musicians at the movies

From the days of Frankie Avalon and Cliff Richard (in a hot rod and a bus respectively) to the modern day naughty gun-waving antics of 50 Cent, cinema has always enjoyed a curious relationship with the world of popular music. I don't exactly know how or when (or even why), but once upon a time someone decided that since the public were willing to part with their cash every time Cliff and the Shadows brought out a record, they'd be equally willing to throw their money away for a couple of hours of them arsing around on a bus with Melvyn Hayes and Una Stubbs. And what do you know, they were right.

Yep, today's incessant rambling is about pop stars entering the movies (and I promise not to use it as an excuse to rant about Marky Mark and PLANET OF THE APES again, honest). It's a lot easier for such people to break into the business than it is for struggling actors, on the grounds that they have a ready-made fanbase willing to cough up the dough to see them. But some pop stars are in it for entirely different reasons - reasons like, dare I say it, doing it for the art - and decide that they are going to take their place behind the camera instead.

The film that got me thinking about this is THE PROPOSITION, in your local cinema as I type. This film was scripted by Aussie songsmith Nick Cave and also happens to be extremely good. Just as ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST showed the age of the cowboy drawing to a close as the railroads emerged and just as TWILIGHT SAMURAI (and the non-sequel follow-up THE HIDDEN BLADE) used the end of a swordwielding era to tell of love and honour in a changing Japan, so Cave's screenplay uses the backdrop of Australia's emergence from bushranging to "civilisation".

The story concerns three Irish brothers in Australia, all of whom are wanted for their part in the massacre of a local family. The middle brother of three, played by Guy Pearce, is captured together with his younger brother and given a simple choice by policeman Ray Winstone. His younger brother will be spared the death penalty if he agrees to capture and kill his far more dangerous elder brother (Danny Huston).

And it's on this simple premise that Cave, and director John Hillcoat, base a thrilling tale of family ties, revenge and the concept of civilisation. Though set in Australia, the film feels very much like a modern-day spaghetti western, albeit with an Aussie tinge, sharing the cynicism, the violence and the visual look. The violence will probably be the most difficult part for mainstream audiences - although it's not sustained, when it does happen it's very bloody. It's equally unafraid to show the barbaric attitude that settlers showed towards Aussie natives too, so much so that the film carries an appropriate warning before the titles.

What's this got to do with SUMMER HOLIDAY and all that? Well, I was thinking of the mixed reception that musician-related movies have received over the years and trying to determine, not entirely seriously, if there was a common factor behind what makes a good one. THE PROPOSITION made me wonder if maybe the secret was something to do with their creative energies and staying behind the camera instead of in front of it. Then, however, I remembered Rob Zombie's first writing/directing attempt, HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES. It might have a truly wonderful name, but it's also a very bad movie.

That's not it then. So, back to the movies starring pop stars. What's the secret? Maybe it's musical talent. The Beatles for example were one of the greatest bands ever (if not the greatest) and certainly a couple of their films are still highly though of; Frank Sinatra was always a big seller and made some decent films (the original versions of THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE and OCEAN'S ELEVEN spring to mind); Elvis was a great singer and his films are... um... okay, so it's not all to do with musical talent then.

Maybe it's about popularity then. That would seem to work - The Monkees weren't the most musically gifted people on the planet but were really popular and I've always loved their totally bonkers film, HEAD. Then again, that doesn't work for Madonna. The undisputed queen of the pop charts for many years, she continued to churn out the biggest load of dross when she appeared on screen - yet when her popularity was just beginning to fade, up she pops in EVITA and gets the best film reviews of her career.

And hammering the nails in the coffin of the popularity theory, I give you exhibits A, B and C: SPICE WORLD featuring the five Spice Girls (Annoying, Ugly, Skeletal, Mental and Porky), Britney Spears' CROSSROADS, and Mariah Carey's GLITTER. Granted, SPICE WORLD is the only one I've seen but in the case of CROSSROADS I'm prepared to accept that a film being unanimously panned across the globe isn't likely to be much cop. And as for GLITTER - she might well have a remarkable talent for singing notes that only dogs can hear, but is that any basis for a movie? Even for a trash addict like me the concept of a Mariah Carey movie is too much.

The answer then must lie in a combination of the two. Musical talent is helpful, but so is popularity. A balance must be achieved - you can't be inconceivably brilliant but you have to be very good; equally you should be popular but not constantly scoring number one records all the time.

Evidence? Well, Mick Jagger, David Bowie and Art Garfunkel all managed to make decent movies with filmmaker Nicholas Roeg (PERFORMANCE, THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH and BAD TIMING respectively), though it's fair to say that the reviews of BAD TIMING tend to be a lot kinder today than they were at the time. And sure, the Stones were massive but they weren't the Beatles - and maybe taking just one of the Stones had the necessary effect on the popularity part of the equation.

Another good example would be TOMMY, the rock opera by The Who. I can't say I've ever been a fan of them myself, but they are popular (without reaching Beatles levels of popularity) and have a reasonable amount of musical talent. The result? TOMMY is completely mental but also totally brilliant.

But then TOMMY also featured a number of other music stars, which begs the question... what happens when you throw together a bunch of people of varying levels of popularity and talent? The brilliant and the dreadful, the loved and the despised? Well obviously the balance is upset and the resultant film is a mess that is just so bizarre you can't even decide if it's good or bad. Yes, I am of course talking about THE WIZ, the black remake of THE WIZARD OF OZ, which featured Michael Jackson and a whole host of other stars of black music in a film that pretty much defies description.

And after that seemingly endless bout of nonsense, I'm not even sure if I've reached any kind of logical conclusion. I guess if nothing else I've managed to piece together enough information that I can put forward a couple of solid observations:

1. If The Flaming Lips ever release their movie, CHRISTMAS ON MARS, it will be brilliant.

2. If you're a movie producer and Christina Aguilera ever approaches you, telling you how much she'd really love to do Shakespeare then for the good of all humanity, please just smile politely and put the cheque book back in your pocket. Thanks for listening.