A shameless and very tenuous "Da Vinci Code" tie-in

I don't go in for trends - I've never read a Harry Potter book, nearly every band I like stopped recording before I was born, my favourite films often elicit nothing but looks of bewilderment, I don't own an iPod.. I could go on, but I won't. I was just making it clear what kind of person I am so that it comes as no surprise to you when I say I've never read "The Da Vinci Code", even though there are undiscovered tribes living by the banks of the Amazon who've probably heard all about it by now.

The popularity of this book has now reached fever pitch - religious folks going mental about it, people suing the author, and a major Hollywood film is to be released shortly. So it's at this point that I saw the perfect opportunity to jump on the band wagon and write a blog that shamelessly cashes in on the hype.

You see, I'm acually talking about zombies again. If that's not your bag, you may wish to ignore today's entry. If it is your bag, then you could probably still ignore it as I'm likely to be preaching to the converted.

And the connection to "The Da Vinci Code"? Well, someone told me that the Templar Knights were involved in the storyline somewhere. And that's all the excuse I needed to write about my recent viewing.

The other night I sat and watched a marathon session of zombie magic. Well, four films to be precise. Yes, I know you find it hard to believe that I found time in my hectic social schedule for such an activity but for a change I thought "sod it". I promptly texted Keira and Britney explaining that our regular date was off because just this once I'd like to sit and watch some films instead. (Yes, this is of course a lot of facetious nonsense - I can assure you I have never sent a text message.)

The Americans have the DEAD movies of George Romero; the Italians have the classics of Lucio Fulci (ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS, THE BEYOND, etc.); but this week it was the turn of Spain's premier contribution to the zombie genre to get thrown into the Freakpit's DVD player. The series in question, for those of you who have no idea and yet somehow were interested enough to make it this far, is Amando De Ossorio's BLIND DEAD series, a four-film opus churned out in Spain in the 1970s. If you want to put that in some kind of zombie-related perspective, they were made after NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD but before DAWN OF THE DEAD. Just so you know.

A brief outline of the story (it's a zombie film, it's not like anything other than brief is required) follows...

Hundreds of years ago, a group of Templars (you see, it's related!) discovered the secret of eternal life. Unfortunately that secret involved some rather unnerving sacrificial activity - you know the sort, sacrificing women, eating flesh, drinking blood, etc. A bit like a night out in Glasgow but with marginally less killing. This, on top of the fact that they already behave like a bunch of drunken numpties, proves to be too much for the locals in the Spanish countryside village where the knights are lording it.

And so the knights are rounded up and killed, in a good old fashioned torture kind of way, like only a good zombie movie can do. Of course, just to make sure that they can't find their way back from hell to menace folks once more, the villagers decide to burn the knights' eyes out too. Ouch. I felt much the same after watching SPICEWORLD to be honest.

So anyway, on to the first movie.

Actually, no, I've written enough already. I think I'll turn it into a week-long marathon blog entry just to keep you in suspense. Tune in tomorrow when I'll tell you all about the first entry in the series...