Love means never having to use a handbrake

Ryan O'Neal turned 65 today.

It's not that I think 65 is a particular landmark (well, not without being reduced to talking about pensions again) or even that I'm a big fan of Mr O'Neal - in fact, I believe I've only ever seen two of his films. But since I happened to watch them both recently it's as good an excuse as any to have a wee chat about them.

THE DRIVER is a movie from the late 70s in which O'Neal plays a getaway driver who sells his services to the underworld (he's really good at his job, you see). He's mean and moody, hard as nails and drives like a complete mentalist. Throw into the mix all kinds of other shady characters including Isabelle Adjani (who is pretty much there as eye candy to be honest) and Bruce Dern as the cop who is out to do more than just give O'Neal a few speeding tickets.

The movie's strengths are many. The cast all excel as villanous hardcases, the action sequences are superb (we all love a good car chase) and the city streets at night have never seemed so seedy and dangerous. These are all ingredients that director Walter Hill perfected shortly after this film when he made THE WARRIORS, another film populated with characters you shouldn't like and yet can't help liking, more thrilling action sequences and once more the streets of New York as some kind of otherworldly neon-lit gladiatorial arena.

I heartily recommend a double bill of THE DRIVER and THE WARRIORS if you're ever having the lads round on a Saturday night. That seems a bit of a sexist thing to say perhaps, but I'm going to stay in that vein when I suggest that the other film I'm going to mention is probably more popular with women.

If you've only seen O'Neal as a hardcase in THE DRIVER, you're probably going to have a rather different view when watching him in the contrasting film from a few years earlier that made him a star... LOVE STORY.

If you've never seen LOVE STORY (and if not, why not?) the story is a simple one. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy and girl marry against everyone's wishes and love triumphs in the face of all adversity... then girl contracts terminal illness. Yep, it's a weepy - together with DEBBIE DOES DALLAS, it's the kind of film that is worshipped and adored by tissue manufacturers the world over.

The lovestruck couple, played by O'Neal and Ali MacGraw, are an oddball pair (he's from a rich, well-educated family while she is obviously from the poor side of town - that's how these stories work, don't you know) and are not entirely likable when we first meet them. But then the story builds sympathy for them through the troubles they face until eventually you can't help but feel for them. Unless you're a heartless cynic, which I'll get to in a moment.

The sentimental tone of the film is definitely helped by the memorable theme music, which I confess I find myself singing on a regular basis - though if you're going to pick up a copy, I'd recommend Andy Williams' version as it's slightly superior to the recording on the forthcoming album SINGING IN THE SHOWER: ALAN MURDERS YOUR FAVOURITE LOVE SONGS.

The only snag for many people viewing LOVE STORY (well, men mainly) is that it is so sentimental and full of romantic cliches that by the time the inevitable heartbreak begins the male audience will have divided evenly into two - those who are swept up in the tale of enduring love, reduced hopelessly to a quivering wreck crying into their Doritos; and the other half, who are so atuned against such sentimental weepies that by the time the film approaches the end they're ready to cheer when MacGraw's character finally gets round to popping her clogs.

I know what you're thinking. Which of those two camps do I fall into?

Well, I have to admit that - hey, wait a minute, is that the time already? I'd best be going. Some other time perhaps...