This diamond needs polished

With a Best Actor nomination for Leonardo DiCaprio and a Best Supporting Actor nomination for the only marginally easier to spell Djimon Hounsou, BLOOD DIAMOND was my latest taste of the Oscar hopefuls. That's why you obviously ended up with such a tired and predictable gag as a title for today's effort as well.

The story is that of diamond smuggler DiCaprio, operating out of Sierra Leone in the 90s during their turbulent civil war, and his attempt to get his hands on the titular trinket, the location of which is only known by a poor farmer who will trade the secret in exchange for the return of his family. I almost described the plot as being about DiCaprio's attempt to get his hands on Hounsou's massive jewel, but that would be another sort of film entirely.

Along the way, they bump into nasty diamond dealers, mercenaries, crazy blokes with machetes, etc. and of course the token American character, journalist Jennifer Connolly. As a rousing action adventure, it hits almost all the right buttons. As anything else, it's flawed.

The action sequences and the horrific scenes of the brutal war in the country are hard to flaw, with the latter doing a reasonably effective job of portraying the horrors committed. Not as effective as THE EMPIRE IN AFRICA of course, but let's not make me relive that one. (Click on the link if you want to read about me turning into a wimp)

Unfortunately, on the story front, the film is simply too Hollywood. A promising beginning and gripping midsection are let down by a banal ending that is positively riddled with cliches, to the point where you can almost speak the dialogue before the characters say it. It's a transparent attempt to tug at the heartstrings and makes such a hash of it that you just want to laugh.

The real problem however lies in the film's noble but misguided attempt to shame us all over our action and inaction in Africa. Has the Western world committed horrific atrocities in Africa? Yes. Have we done enough to help the continent? No. There is no argument over these facts from me, and the film is right to point them out. The problem is that the filmmakers have no idea how to do this effectively.

For one thing, there are far too many pretentious lines about how cruel we all are, what horrible things we've done, what we've not done, oh won't humans ever learn, blah blah blah. The point is valid and in moderation may have succeeded; instead, we get bludgeoned over the head with it repeatedly, with as much subtlety as something that isn't very subtle at all. Sorry, I couldn't think of a hilarious metaphor, but I'm sure you can make one up yourself.

The end result? Well, I fancy Jennifer Connolly as much as the next man, but it got to the point where I just wanted to slap her every time she opened her mouth because I knew she was about to chastise me for my species being so horrible. Actually, I've just read that last sentence, and I'd like to clarify that when I say "I fancy Jennifer Connolly as much as the next man", I mean that I fancy her as much as the next man fancies her, not that I fancy her as much as I fancy the next man. Damn the English language and its hilarious double meanings.

Filmmakers really need to learn that it's possible to make a film which makes us feel horrible, guilty and ashamed and it's also possible to make a film which lets us leave the cinema feeling entertained and happy; but it cannot do both in the space of one film, and unfortunately it's BLOOD DIAMOND's attempt to do just that which steers it off course.

And as for the acting? DiCaprio's role is a major one, certainly; but aside from a couple of very, very brief emotional scenes, the cynic in me sees him being rewarded for nothing more than playing an objectionable little turd with a shoddy Zimbabwe accent. The rest of the roles are barely fleshed out enough to leave anyone else with anything much to do - with the exception of Hounsou, who is superb as the desperate father trying to find his family and recover his son, who has fallen in with the child soldiers of Sierra Leone.

In other words, I'd be very surprised if DiCaprio won and while I'd also be surprised if Hounsou won, I do feel that at least the latter deserves it. Mind you, if I had to pick any of the nominations that BLOOD DIAMOND is up for, I'd rather it won for Sound Mixing and Sound Editing, as they really did do a terrific job there. That's not as exciting to write about though.