The Freakpit World Cup Special!

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It's World Cup time and if you live in the UK that usually only means one thing - tabloid media and second-rate TV pundits drowning us all in a tidal wave of xenophobic comments about other nations, usually the Germans. This year we have the added bonus of some English ned having a sore foot which apparently requires painkillers, rest and at least six hours of news coverage a day.

Not so at the Freakpit, where obviously it's my duty to discuss movies. So it's the perfect time to celebrate all the wonderful football-related movies that have been made over the years.

Or it would be if they weren't all rubbish. Honestly, how hard can it be to make a decent movie about football (or "soccer" if you're from America)? And if it's that difficult, why do people keep trying?

Try as I might, I eventually had to concede that the only ones worth covering involve me once more dipping into my beloved documentaries, and I've picked a couple of films that showcase the beautiful game perfectly - one focuses on the corporate takeover of football by millionaire businessmen, and the notion of throwing money at the game in the hopes of providing the next big thing. The other demonstrates how football can bring people together away from big businesses and sponsorship deals, and how the love of the game can bring people together from all walks of life.

ONCE IN A LIFETIME is the story of the emergence of football (soccer) as a popular sport in the USA, focusing on the New York Cosmos. Bought by one of the head honchos at Warner, the Cosmos started out as an amateur outfit but were transformed when millions of dollars were pumped in to bring in some of the world's greatest footballers including Carlos Alberto, Chinaglia, the Kaiser and the greatest ever, Pele.

What follows seems at first to be a triumphant story of how a few men shaped soccer in the USA, but it soon turns sour as egos clash, the much sought after TV deal does not have the desired effect and the excesses of all involved in the rise of the sport eventually drive it straight back into the dust. Soccer has finally recovered and is picking up in popularity in America once more, but it's difficult to see it ever reaching these dizzy heights again.

And maybe that's a good thing. What started as a success story is revealed by the documentary (with the aid of interviews from all the major names except Pele himself) to end in disaster - but what is particularly striking about it is just how close it is to the football of today, where obscene amounts of money are ploughed into the game by the teams at the top just to secure the services of the biggest names. The Cosmos, and America's first major soccer league, may well have ended in disaster - but maybe they were just ahead of its time.

It's a world apart from Dutch documentary THE OTHER FINAL. When the unthinkable happened and his team (the Netherlands) failed to qualify for the 2002 World Cup, Matthijs de Jongh became fascinated with losing and the FIFA world rankings, eventually leading to a wonderful idea. On the day of the 2002 World Cup Final, there would be another, alternate final played between the two worst teams in the world. Ranked 202 and 203 by FIFA, Montserrat and Bhutan were to meet in a one-off game that would showcase everything good about football.

And it did. The film crew follows both teams and the event organisers along the way, as both countries find out who the other country is and begin preparations - with a few hiccups along the way.

What eventually unfolds is a story of two small nations coming together through their united love of football, playing a special game that celebrates football and the coming together of world cultures in a unique spectacle miles away from the excesses of the real World Cup (fittingly, the major companies approached for sponsorship were not interested - give yourselves a shake, Nike and Adidas). Whether you're a football fan or not you can't help but have a grin on your face at the end of this feelfood tale.

Right, I'm off to watch more football - when I manage to squeeze in a few more movies I'll let you know.