Nightmare USA

Better late than never. Well, unless today's entry turns out to be rubbish, in which case it would probably have been better never than late. Whatever.

You'll recall that I said I was off to the Nightmare USA Film Festival in London a few weeks back. I think you'll recall it anyway. I don't know, it's so long ago that I can't remember if I told you or not and I'm too lazy to go back and check. Thankfully I doubt you can be bothered either, so let's both pretend I told you.

The story behind this festival...

You may or may not be familiar with the wonderful publishers FAB Press. If you've wandered into this blog by following a link from one of my posts in an obscure movie forum then you probably have. If you're just here because you're one of my friends reading this in order to make it look like people actually care, then you probably haven't. They specialise in terrific books on cult and horror cinema, very often huge and definitive tomes on a particular genre or director.

One of their recent triumphs is the fantastic book NIGHTMARE USA: THE EXCEPTIONAL STORY OF THE EXPLOITATION INDEPENDENTS, a gigantic hardback covering the key films and directors of the obscure low-budget exploitation films that flooded the grindhouse cinemas of the 70s and early 80s. It is of course perfectly timed to coincide with the release of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's new filmic experiment GRINDHOUSE - or at least it would be if the film hadn't flopped so hard in the USA that it's getting split up and released over here separately, who knows when.

To promote the book, FAB Press hosted a day-long marathon of rarely seen exploitation films (indeed many, if not all, of them had never seen a UK cinema release, effectively making these their UK cinema premieres so many years later). The event was hosted by the author of the book, Stephen Thrower, who made a wonderful host, not to mention writing an amazing book. He's also the guy that wrote FAB's book on Lucio Fulci - see my disclaimer about how you found this blog to determine if you should know who Fulci is or not. He's one of my favourite directors, so let's leave it at that.

The afternoon kicked off with DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE - a lovely title for a nasty movie, despite me ripping the pish out of it in one of my earliest blog entries. The story concerns a troubled young man (Dan Grimaldi) who, following a hellish childhood at the hands of an abusive mother, develops a fascination with burning things. Especially if those things happen to be people, preferably young women that he's lured back to his house. A house in which he's installed a lovely metallic room for burning people in.

If the story sounds sick and twisted, it's because it is. That's what makes these old nasties of the exploitation world so lovable. That, and the OTT acting, which Grimaldi certainly doesn't skimp on either. They just don't make them like this anymore. Mainly because they're not allowed to.

Director Joseph Ellison and producer/writer Ellen Ellison were both on hand afterwards for a brief Q&A in which they regaled us with entertaining stories about the making of the film, including how they achieved the eye-opening special effect that dominates the film (namely a gobsmacking set-piece in which a naked woman is hung up and burned alive...). If you're of a certain disposition I guess I've really just put you off this film.

PIGS was next on the agenda, although this particular print was under its alternate title of BLOOD PEN. Call it whatever you want; I call it 100% mental. It's a very weird movie, in which the plot (involving a runaway and a crazy pig farmer among other things) is very definitely second to the pervading atmosphere of both dread and lunacy. Man-eating pigs, weird dreams and again some deliriously OTT acting (particularly from Marc Lawrence, who plays the main villain as well as directing the movie) make this an experience that once seen will never be forgotten. Think MOTEL HELL, but even madder. And with pigs.

BLOODY BROTHERS is an interesting experiment. When the two nasties that he helmed, AXE and KIDNAPPED COED made a reasonable sum of money on the grindhouse and drive-in circuit, director Frederick Friedel did not make a penny. Now, decades later, he has come up with a novel way of attempting to reclaim the films, not to mention a little cash. Playing on the fact that Jack Canon plays the lead in both films, Friedel has created a new story involving two twins raised separately but who go on separate killing sprees on the same day, a story achieved by editing together some footage from both films. Having never seen either of the originals, I can't say how they compare to this new composition but it's a noble experiment that pretty much works. I did find however that the film did drag in places, which makes me wonder just how dull the two original films must have been if this is an edited-together "greatest hits" compilation from both of them.

BLOODY BROTHERS was followed by SQUISH, a brand new Friedel short movie shot on video with practically no budget. It was gory and amusing, and was on sale at the event, as was BLOODY BROTHERS, in limited edition official FAB Press DVDs limited to 50 copies each. I didn't buy either as I wasn't crazy about the films, but I suspect opportunists will be putting them on eBay as we speak.

The penultimate film of the day was VICTIMS, playing here on a print bearing the alternate (and exceptionally tasteless) title PAULIE: DAY OF THE RAPIST. I probably don't need to tell you anything more about it.

But I will. It's another tale of a man who suffered abuse as a child, once more resulting in the by now customary mental issues later in life. While Dan Grimaldi's response in DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE was to go about burning women, writer/director Daniel DiSomma (acting under the pseudonym Tony Vorno) portrays a loony who decides the way to get even is through sexual abuse. It's the kind of depraved string of events that only happened in video nasties and drive-in trash and would probably not be recommended viewing for anyone if were not for a reasonably competent structure (playing around with flashbacks) and the performance of DiSomma. On a day dominated by barmy performances, his was the barmiest by far. Imagine a psychopathic take on William Shatner with mental issues with women, and you're halfway towards understanding why this film is actually a whole lot of (tasteless) fun instead of the unwatchable trash that it really should be.

Murder. Psychic powers. Lovely ladies. Mystic arts. Crazy dialogue, bad acting and odd facial expressions. Cheap special effects. A story that has no discernable structure and keeps having little breaks while loony non-sequiturs interject.

All these things and more are the ingredients of the final night's film, BOARDINGHOUSE, and yet even with these in mind you still have no idea of how bad (and yet simultaneously magical) this film is unless you see it for yourself. Saving this one for the end was a wise decision - most of the audience had enjoyed a few beers, and everyone was roaring with laughter throughout. If it was possible for a film to be clinically insane, this movie would be first through the doors of the nearest asylum. It might be a shot-on-video cheapie (no budget, or just ahead of its time?) but it more than makes up for its lack of, well, everything by the inexplicable lunacy that permeates the film from start to finish. Nothing I say can do this film justice, so let's just hope for a DVD release eventually. If it happens, get all your friends round one night and prepare for the maddest evening of your life.

And so ends a wonderful day. Stephen and all the gang at FAB Press deserve a lot of plaudits for both this event and the book itself. I also took the opportunity to pick up FAB Press's book A VIOLENT PROFESSIONAL: THE FILMS OF LUCIANO ROSSI. And if you're wondering who he is... well, the usual comments about how you found this blog apply.

That wasn't the only viewing I did while in London mind you; I made a weekend of it. But that's a story for another day...