VHS Lives! CHE!

Ah, look at that picture, doesn't it just make you misty? Well, okay, it also looks a bit misty itself, but it didn't look that blurred on my camera. Honest. Anyway, these are the five tapes I've been using to relive the VHS glory days with you this week, with today's oddity at the front. And yes, I realise I forgot to post it yesterday. Again. Sorry.

This last film (for the moment) in my VHS series is the one film out of all of them that I actually went out of my way to track down, due to its almost legendary status. In fact, the tape I eventually managed to get my hands on is an old pre-cert copy from 25 years ago, which cost me about... well, more than I should have paid for it anyway but what's eBay for if not for wasting money on rubbish. (For those of you who don't know about "pre-certs" and such things, that means it predates the Video Recording Act 1984, after which all videos had to carry a BBFC certificate)

Imagine if you will, a film with the following talent involved. It was directed in 1969 by Richard Fleischer. It was co-written by Michael Wilson. It had music by Lalo Schifrin. It co-starred Omar Sharif and Jack Palance. Sounds quite promising, doesn't it?

Well let's not forget that none of the above were infallible. Let's now say that it starred Omar Sharif and Jack Palance... as Che Guevara and Fidel Castro. That's right, Jack Palance as Fidel Castro. I am not making this up.

This bio-pic of Guevara tends to be talked about more than seen - it's rarely on TV (I've certainly never seen it aired) and it remains unavailable on DVD, and probably will be for the foreseeable future. It's become almost mythical and, to be totally honest, it's probably better that it stays that way.

For you see, it's a pretty bad film. And yet, it's not quite so bad that it's good. It's just bad. It begins with Che's death in Bolivia at the hands of the US government, then goes back and examines his time with Castro and his quest to free South Americans that eventually ended up with the aforementioned assassination.

This scattershot approach would seem to lend itself to covering a lot of territory but in truth it covers very little but seems to take an age to do so. Indeed, the box for my VHS release states 113 minutes in length, yet it only lasts for 93 minutes. I can only assume the extra 20 minutes is a result of the fact that it feels that long.

Sharif is neither bad nor good in the role and in the end, despite small appearances by the likes of Woody Strode and Sid Haig or the strange switch to documentary-style interviews, the only real highlight is provided by Palance.

Every time Palance is on screen, he chews up the scenery, spits it out, then chews it up again - in other words, it's a hammy performance worthy of Palance at his enjoyable best. His Castro comes off as a mixture of the real Castro and the Castro you'd expect if he was being played by an escaped lunatic. It's ironic that during the film it's supposed to be Che that has the health problems and yet it's Palance who throws his arms around and launches into crazed spasms that suggest it's really he who is having a fit.

All in all, the film is not good enough to recommend for any reason but not as bad as legend would suggest. It's certainly a curiosity though, and one that I advise you to keep an eye out for in the TV listings and second hand shops - because it really doesn't look like Fox will be dusting it down for a DVD release any time soon.

Richard Fleischer (1916-2006)

Hollywood director Richard Fleischer died yesterday, aged 89. The casual moviegoer may not immediately recognise the name but the chances are you're familiar with his work.

Fleischer was not some flashy auteur who had shelves full of books devoted to his work; nor was he a director who was content to stick to one genre and make a career out of it. Fleischer's diversity was, to me, his finest attribute and is reflected in his filmography.

Just some of his many films: FANTASTIC VOYAGE; 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA; BANDIDO; THE VIKINGS; THE BOSTON STRANGLER; RED SONJA; CONAN THE DESTROYER; CHE!; DR DOLITTLE; THE JAZZ SINGER; MANDINGO; THE LAST RUN; MR MAJESTYK; TORA! TORA! TORA!... there were some smashes, some flops and some that were just plain different.

His greatest contribution to my experience of the movies was undoubtedly his 1973 dystopian sci-fi tale SOYLENT GREEN. Had it not been for my unhealthy obsession with the PLANET OF THE APES series of films, SOYLENT GREEN would definitely place in my top three films.

I can't begin to tell of how many times I watched this movie in my teenage years (and beyond) - first through a copy I'd taped off the TV, which was then replaced by an official video release from the early 90s, and that of course gave way to the eventual DVD release a couple of years ago (not to mention one occasion on the big screen when I managed to find a local festival that had dug up an old print for a one-off screening). Yet despite all this, every time I catch it while channel surfing I invariably end up sticking with it until the very end anyway.

It's a film that has always been tinged with a little sadness, featuring as it does Edward G Robinson as a saddened elderly man who takes his own life (albeit assisted by a futuristic variation on euthanasia), in what was to be his final movie role. But this doesn't mean that it will be any sadder for Fleischer's loss - I prefer to think of this as a celebration of the director at his very best.

I noted tonight that by sheer coincidence Fleischer's 1950s crime thriller VIOLENT SATURDAY is on TV later tonight. I think I'll go and set my video just now, so I have another chance to salute a master craftsman.

I'll probably watch SOYLENT GREEN again, too.